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Saturday, May 30th, 2009
12:54 am - Cleveland: You've gotta be TOUGH
About two years ago, Brandon, Shirine, and I drove to Toronto. Toronto is a fun place and all, but I think the real highlight of the trip was witnessing... THIS:

This is, unbelievably, a musical rendition of the first two Evil Dead films. It's performed live on stage, and there is an ample amount of gore. (You can purchase seats that are guaranteed to be in the "splatter zone.") This is all made much more hilarious due to the challenge of converting the props in the film into ones suitable for a live performance. The same musical is showing in Cleveland, now though July 5th. Tickets are $28, and in my opinion, it's well worth the $28 and the drive. Anyone want to go? For more info on the venue and showtimes, go here.

In other Cleveland-related things, I just want to say that I enjoy the place, despite all its flaws. It's a very interesting city, but you have to spend a lot of time there before you'll start to appreciate it. Cleveland has pockets of nice, interesting areas, a unique industrial skyline, and some of the most stunning natural beauty Ohio has to offer. Sure, the city managed to set the river on fire, the sun never comes out, all the cyclists ride on the wrong side of the road, and the place is swarming with mayflies this time of year, but I love it. And according to a couple of notorious videos posted on youtube, Cleveland's economy is based on LeBron James, and their main export is crippling depression.

One thing I have to say about Clevelanders is that they have a good sense of humor about their home. In reaction to the videos on youtube, the city's travel promotion agency actually hosted a contest for people to make REAL Cleveland tourism videos. Mike Polk, the creator of the sarcastic youtube videos, was one of the judges for this contest.

For all you people who have not seen them yet, here are the links to the sarcastic, "Hastily Made" Cleveland tourism videos. They're dumb as hell, but I lol'd.

Hastily made Cleveland tourism video

Hastily made Cleveland tourism video (second attempt)

And lastly, here's the article regarding the city's reaction to the videos, and the resulting contest.

(3 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Sunday, May 11th, 2008
6:14 pm - Yay, Nintendo!
So, apparently, I can update LJ from my Nintendo DS. I'm fucking giddy.

(4 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007
10:16 pm - Dying children in my dreams
I've been having really disturbing nightmares lately. I don't remember most of them, but they usually wake me up around 5am every night. I did remember one in a decent amount of detail recently, which I will describe below.

I don't think I was an active character in this dream, but I at least witnessed this incident in some way. I was at a county fair, one that had set up those rickety portable rides. I was watching a ride that consists of one large bench that spins around in a vertical circle, which was wussy enough for the very small children riding it.

There were four kids on the ride. They were all wearing harnesses and helmets. The children were also all under age 2. They squealed with joy whenever the ride would swing downwards. You know the sound; most kids love to scream whenever they're having fun. Then, the bench began to sway. It looked like the ride was intended to move in this direction, so none of the parents watching became concerned. Suddenly, the ride came to a grinding halt in an upwards swing, and flung the four children out of their harnesses, very high into the air.

They knew the ride shouldn't have ejected them; they realized their lives were coming to an abrupt end. The instant they left their seats, their screams changed from the joyful squeals to high-pitched, blood-curdling shrieks. I will never, ever forget that sound. It was physically painful to hear; it felt like knives penetrating my abdomen.

I watched them soar over my head and onto the pavement. They hit so hard, I was surprised they didn't splatter. One or two of them was still alive, but they wouldn't be for long.

Their parents immediately ran to their dying children. At that point, I noticed that each child had been of a different race. The child nearest me was black. His father was a well-mannered businessman, dressed in slacks and a tie. He picked his child up while he was still alive. The child was in no pain, and could speak slightly. His father chose just to talk to him during his last minutes of life; he held an almost casual, but happy conversation about how everything in this world was beautiful, so his child's last thoughts would be as peaceful as possible. I was amazed by how well he handled himself; I figured anyone in that situation would have been yelling something like "WHY GOD, WHY?!" which would have filled the child with fear, and would have failed to prevent the inevitable. After the child passed, the man hung his head and sobbed quietly.

The second child had been Hispanic, and his parents reacted exactly as I had imagined anyone would. Their kid had died on impact, causing the parents to go hysterical. They were running around in circles, grabbing at the clothes of strangers, bellowing pleas in Spanish that no one could understand. The parents didn't bother to pick their child's body up from where it landed. They inspected it long enough to recognize it was their child, and it was lifeless. After that, they seemed to be unable to face the reality. They ran away from the body, and I assume, wanted to pretend that it had never happened.

The third child was Asian. I never saw even a glimpse of the child because its parents huddled around the body, completely concealing it. They knelt down over the body, with their heads bowed. They did not speak. They did not cry. They did not move. The world around them was breaking into chaos, and they remained statues.

The last child was white. His parents were a typical couple you would find at a county fair: nice and trashy. The mother was in her thirties, but had physically aged far beyond her years. She sat on the pavement and held her child in her arms, not screaming, but shaking violently. Her husband was patting her on the back, in attempts to comfort her. The mother was shaking and muttering, and was so distraught, she pulled out a needle and started shooting heroin on the spot.

After I saw that lovely bit of imagery, I woke up. I've been a bit disturbed ever since.

current mood: discontent

(Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Friday, August 24th, 2007
Unbeknownst to me, Columbus used to be home to the greatest restaurant concept in history: TACO NINJA. It closed only a short while ago, and I regret never having gone there, despite horror stories about the quality of their food. I've also been told that they used to make deliveries in full ninja costume, but they had to quit, since the outfits frightened too many people. At any rate, go to that website. I lol'd at the song playing on the main page.

I'm leaving for DC in a few minutes. I'm going to hang out with the Dutch Boy and party with Andrew WK. This'll be COOL.

However, thanks to Sarah and Jessica, I just read two stories about body parts being mutilated, so now I'm paranoid about getting a limb chopped off during my seven hour drive. Thanks, guys. Also, I finally got my car fixed and running supremely well, so it would be tragic if it died right now.

Ah well. Taco Ninja > Ninja Burger. Peace out, everyone.

current mood: hot

(3 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Sunday, May 6th, 2007
12:27 am - Seeee Meeeeeee!!!!!!
The CCAD senior fashion show is this Friday, May 11th.

Since this is the closest thing I'll ever have to a fashion show of my own, I'd appreciate it if everyone reading this could make it. Of course, since you're only going to be seeing two of my looks that you've already seen before, it's not going to be anything truly exciting unless you actually want to see what my peers have done. ;) Except there will be a hugeass (not really) party at my apartment later that night, so I recommend visiting.

The show is absolutely free, and there will be plenty of student artwork to look at aside from the show. Since the venue for the show is abysmally small,  there will be two complete showings of the damn thing. One starts at 5:30, and one starts at 6:45. GET THERE AT LEAST 30 MINUTES EARLY IF YOU WANT TO GET IN AT ALL. For the second showing, people will probably be lined up since the first show, since they can't let everyone in for that performance.

I will have probably just one ticket to give away, and I've decided that should go to whomever drives the farthest. :) Since the show is free, having a ticket just means that you'll get to skip the line, and you'll have a fancy reserved seat. So, depending on which show you get into, you'll probably get to sit next to my parents or total strangers. It could be awesome or lame, depending on circumstances.

The show will be in the JVC Canzani auditorium. I honestly don't know the address to that particular building, so if you want to go, mapquest 95 N. 9th St., Columbus, OH 43215, and it'll be the building across the street, nearest Cleveland Ave.

From Louisville,
1) Take I-71 N for about 220 miles.
2) Stick to the right when you see signs for 70 and 71. Keep following signs for 71 N. However, I-71 splits off at I-70, so you'll technically be merging onto I-70 East. I say that to prevent confusion, but I fear that might cause even more. >.<
3) Follow signs for I-71 N. There are tons of markings, including paintings on the road itself. Merge left ASAP after getting onto I-70; you'll need to be in the lane second from the far left.
4) Exit at Broad St. This exit blows; you'll have to quickly merge 2 lanes to your right as they appear, and people will be trying to get off of I-70 West at the same time.
5) Stay in the middle lane and turn left onto Broad St.
6) Turn right at the first light onto Washington Ave.
7) Turn left onto Gay St. If you pass a stoplight, you'll have gone too far.
8) You'll see the art sign straddling the road. JVC is the building on the left, closest to Cleveland Ave. Park anywhere.

Or just ride with mom or dad. They'll probably appreciate the company.

And I'm totally graduating the next day. That'll be boring, but it's happening! After five long, grueling years, I'll be out at last!! And it's about time, too. So much has changed since I got there, I don't feel at home at CCAD at all anymore. And I'll have free time and hopefully financial security.


P.S. I'm taking three weeks off work between the time my internship ends and my full-time employment begins. So, I'll probably be in Louisville for at least a week in the near future! One of those weeks will probably be spent unpacking in Columbus, and June 1st through June 6th will be spent in... Seattle, of all places. Dad and I are taking a vacation up there, since he claims the place is very neat. :) For those who are curious, this will be my first time on an airplane. I'm glad I'm going to be experiencing flying now before I have to do so for work! Around September, I'm going to fly to either New York or LA just so I can attend a digital pattern making class. ^_^

current mood: relieved

(15 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Monday, March 26th, 2007
9:48 pm - Update and.. HELP!!
I get the keys to the new place tomorrow! Thank god! IMPORTANT: if there are any of you in Louisville or Columbus that can lend a helping hand (I'll need help in Louisville this Saturday morning, and in Columbus that afternoon/evening), PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help!!! So far, I have two people who are likely to help, but the more people I can get to help, the easier the job will be. Also, my dad has injured his back rather severely, so all he'll be able to help with is driving the trailer to Ohio.

The move, however, is going to bankrupt me. Now, that's a little scary. I don't think it's going to be a problem for me to ask for monetary help from my parents, but it will be slightly embarrassing. Ever since I got my internship at A&F last May, I haven't had to ask for money at all. Not even once! Note that I do not pay for my cell phone or my car insurance, however. (And I'm really not sure why mom and dad insisted on paying for these things when I was saving so much) But I did pay for all my gas, rent, bills, car stuff, fun stuff, student loan payments, AND I've dropped nearly $6,000 of my own money simultaneously on school tuition and supplies. Now that my rent is going to triple, my internship, which pays very well for what it is, is going to quickly start to feel like poverty.

And I graduate in about fifteen minutes. So, it's time to start looking for a real job. I have very few doubts about my qualifications for an entry level tech design position, but I do worry about the quality of my portfolio and finding steady work. If at all possible, I would absolutely love to stay at A&F. It's unlikely that I'll ever have a more interesting job in tech, and it's also unlikely that I'll ever work in such a unique environment again. As far as I'm concerned, I have the best job in the world right now, and I really don't want to let it go! Anyhow, that brings me to the issue that... I have no idea how to go about applying for a real position. For design jobs, A&F sent recruiters to the school and the recruiters gave the students a design project... which was due a couple weeks ago. I sincerely hope that didn't apply to tech. And I sincerely hope that the people I work with don't think I'm a moron, as a good recommendation would be useful. I *KNOW* I'm the quiet weird girl that does no work for the actual A&F chain and sits in a corner, but I'd like to think that I have at least come across as competent. In the end, I think it's just going to be a matter of whether or not a position actually exists for me.

The interns in other, larger departments (I literally work in the smallest department in the company, which is nice, but extremely isolating.) already know whether or not they'll have jobs there after college. Since I've worked there full time (no one else can say that) for so long, the other interns expect me to stay, but the fact that I don't already know (and that I have to sign a lease tomorrow) really, really worries me. I mean, if everyone else is being *offered* a job, is it bad that I have to *ask* for one? Or is it really just circumstantial?

Anyway, should I find the balls, the plan is to ask about it tomorrow. Wish me luck.

current mood: worried

(4 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Saturday, March 17th, 2007
10:59 pm - Byers Collection - Some decent pictures of my designs!
As promised, I hereby present to you the best pictures from the photoshoot at the abandoned Byers Chevrolet building! (CCAD bought it but hasn't exactly done anything with it yet) We were supposed to shoot at a much cooler location, but that place bailed on us at the last minute. The fact that the Byers building didn't have heat pissed everyone off, especially the models. When you see how slutty my clothes are, you'll understand why. (More accurately, since the theme I had to design into is superheroes, I was going for a powerful, sexy, but not skanky look. This of course, still involved showing some skin.) But hey, the pictures aren't all too crappy, so check them out.

These pictures are for the book, which is a program that will be handed out to anyone who attends the show. In previous years, they just had students submit illustrations as examples of their work. No one has ever had the opportunity to photograph on location before. In previous years, students have just photographed all of their outfits at the end of the year in a studio, in front of a white backdrop. This extra shoot, unfortunately, meant sacrificing an extra saturday for both the models and the designers. It was most unwelcome, but I think some of the shots I got will be of much greater artistic value than the pristine ones I'll have from the studio in Kinney Hall. Just so you know, I still have two more looks to complete; one for a tiny girl named Shaina, and one for myself.

Byers - Jacqui and ShannonCollapse )

current mood: aggravated

(Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Thursday, March 1st, 2007
8:06 am - Get me out of here!!!
I have 27 more days until I get the keys to my place in Westerville, and that's not a moment too soon. Problem is that it might be a moment too late. We got an "URGENT NOTICE" on our fence yesterday afternoon, warning us that there have been breakins all around our complex (happening to townhouse units like ours specifically) and in surrounding areas. Apparently, someone has been going around between the hours of 3 and 6 pm, kicking in people's back doors (which are semi-concealed by the patio fences), and stealing shit. WTF. If I have all my shit stolen when I'm moving out of the ghetto in less than a fucking month, I'm going to be pissed.

I actually had a dream that this happened last night. The robbers decided to take strange items (like my jewelry box containing nothing but costume jewelry), and no matter how I tried, I couldn't lock my back door. It was creepy, and I sincerely hope this doesn't happen in the waking world. Ugh.

Get me out of here!!!

current mood: scared

(4 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Thursday, February 8th, 2007
8:04 am - Public service announcement
Unless you're ridiculously hot, straight, over age 21, living in Ohio, as hilarious as Stephen Colbert, and obsessed with cats, fashion, AND politics...

please don't send me anything for Valentine's day.

current mood: cold

(7 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007
7:12 pm - Just in time for V-day
Mom said the most offensive thing possible to me yesterday.

When talking about how it was going to be difficult to pay rent for my own place, she let this gem slip out of her mouth:

Why don't you just get a boyfriend to move in with you and help pay the bills?

WHAT?! In hopes of cutting the conversation short, I said, "um, NO." She responded by saying "I know, I know. You don't want one. But you know, sometimes you have to." And she would NOT stop. Eventually, she realized she was saying something that really pissed me off, so she said, "Oh, I'm just kidding! heh.. heheh... heh........... heh........heh" with the type of laugh that someone trails off with when they realize they said something that no one else thinks is funny.

Firstly, there's no way she could have possibly said that thinking I'd be laughing my ass off. To top that off, she said it right AFTER interrogating me about, "Whatever happened to little Jon?!"

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. SO DON'T FUCKING ASK." So, she stopped asking, right?

"But I'm just curious! Does he still talk to you? Do you think he has a new girlfriend?? What happened?" and on and on and ON.

I always wondered how old I'd be before people started questioning why I was old and unmarried. I guess the answer is rather officially "22." I want to calmly discuss my opinions over these statements, but my blood is boiling from seeing this conversation written down, so... just give me a sec, and let me punch the nearest wall.




You hit a sore spot, mom. You really did. For one, you realized that I was just DUMPED, right? I know you realize this, or else you probably wouldn't have questioned Jon's relationship status. Also, I fucking told you I was dumped, so you should fucking remember. It's also safe to assume that I wouldn't want to talk about the breakup BECAUSE I WASN'T HAPPY ABOUT THE OUTCOME. So WHY is it that you assume the following:

a) that prince charming knocks on my door on a regular basis?

b) that I always blow prince charming off because of my gargantuan, undeserved ego?


c) that if I ever choose to not blow prince charming off, he'll actually feel the same way about me?

C is definitely false. I'm one of the only people I know who has never been in a healthy, long-term relationship with anyone in spite of the fact that I've ALWAYS wanted to be in one. From my perspective, the fact that I have so many opportunities at being in relationships that ALL FAIL is more discouraging than being too ugly or introverted to date anyone for years on end.

A is mostly false. Some decent people email me every month and a half or so on myspace, but that's the end of it. I never had too much contact with guys at CCAD no thanks to endless homework and being a fashion major, so I dated all of two CCAD students in my time. I guess that beats the amount of guys from Manual I dated, though. (zero!) And now I work at Abercrombie. For those of you who actually don't know any better, almost every guy there is gay. And I don't really dig "Abercrombie" guys, anyway. So, my options are pretty much limited to the internet. Also, I don't have any friends to go clubbing or partying with or whatever the hell you kids do to meet people nowadays.

B. Seriously. Why do all you people actually think that I'm single because I don't want a boyfriend?! Alright, alright, I realize I blow a lot of people off. Society labels me a bitch for doing so. I fail to see the issue with this. It's not like I'm some pathetic broad who wants a boyfriend/husband at all costs. It's that I know myself well enough to know exactly who I am and who I'm not going to be happy with. Every time I break up with someone, I learn a little more about myself. But why would I intentionally start something with someone if I already know I'm not going to be happy? That's not fair to either party. And the truth is, I'm not going to be happy with just anyone.

Rob (not my roommate; the other Rob) and I spoke about this issue last weekend. He told me I initially attract a lot of guys because I'm intelligent, but I can't keep any of them because my personality simply isn't compatible with many other people. That's probably true, but it's a very generic statement. I'd like to know what it is about me that turns so many people off. But until I figure it out, I'm going to have to accept that I'm too weird to ever find that love thing. I really don't hate myself, but it's really depressing to realize that I'm all I'll ever have.

"Oh, but life comes at you, and sometimes you have to settle!" With women especially, that's depressingly true. If you're a chick, read a fark thread. Unless you have one hell of a chest, it'll be INSTANT depression. After 30, very few men will take any interest in you, after all. I, unfortunately, have been aging like shit, so "middle aged" is right around the corner for me... unless I can afford plastic surgery. And if that's the way it has to be, I need to first spend the money on making my nose less hideous and my boobs more NORMAL before I can even think about getting shit like facelifts. While I'd certainly like to gain ten pounds (which is actually sort of feasible), I don't think I'm totally hideous. But it's really discouraging to hear "you're definitely cute, but you'll NEVER be sexy" from one of your own boyfriends. Somehow, I don't think the whole appearance thing is working out for me. When I can't figure out the exact malfunction with my personality, what else do I have to blame??

Unfortunately, the idea that you have to settle down with someone - anyone! at a particular point in life probably causes all those divorces. So why not do yourself a favor and actually wait for the right person? Is it really finances keeping you people together? And if so, why?? We all need to be able to support ourself, because chances are that you won't be in a comfy marriage forever. Guess what mom, I've thought about this. Why do you think I went to school? Why do you think I'm graduating? I may not WANT to be independent, BUT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BE. Nearly everyone will eventually HAVE to be. And if I am financially independent and stable, I don't have to limit myself to searching for doctors and lawyers in the dating game. I'll reiterate: If I ever marry a guy, I want to make sure he's the right guy for me, and not just the right guy to support me. I'd rather not be stuck in a miserable, loveless marriage until it finally ends when I'm old and entirely undesirable.

Perhaps it's the outdated concept that all guys have to support their women that's working against me. I'm looking for a best friend, not a crutch! And trust me, it's a little more than slightly condescending when you boys hang around me incessantly making sure I don't fall on my face. Nice? I guess. But it also screams, "awwww, life is just too much for you! let a big, strong man come to the rescue!" Please don't make me vomit. Asskissing is not attractive, either. Respect NEEDS to work both ways. I suppose that was an unnecessary tangent, but it's been something I've been contemplating lately.

In conclusion, I'm pissed off and emotionally insecure. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm awesome.

current mood: working

(7 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Sunday, February 4th, 2007
2:29 pm - I made an expensive, impulsive purchase today.
I will be moving to a community just outside of the Little Turtle country club in Westerville March 25th... if my application is approved.

It was only about 35 dollars/month more expensive than the other places I was looking at, and it's much larger and much nicer. According to the signs, it's actually a luxury apartment complex. I really, really hope I didn't just buy something I can't afford.

(3 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Saturday, January 27th, 2007
6:01 pm - Jacqui's Outfit
Well the pictures aren't great, but since I have them, I'm posting them anyway. After all, most of you have NO idea what I've been doing in fashion for the past two and a half years, so this should give you some idea of what my designs tend to look like.

Jacqui's OutfitCollapse )

current mood: okay

(16 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Wednesday, January 24th, 2007
6:45 pm - Addendum to the previous rant
Some good news:

In class this morning, Ms. Cotton assured us that there actually will be a runway built in the auditorium. I don't think that makes up for everything else that's gone wrong, but this at least makes the CCAD show worth seeing. So I feel a little better. It's very possible that could change again, but I'm going to try to keep my hopes up.

During class this morning, a bunch of guys came in with cameras who were videotaping us and our work. We were instructed to bring in our first completed outfit and display them on dress forms for the guys. I was a little concerned, because I had to make a ton of blind decisions on how to correct the fit of Jacqui's top, and I hadn't yet seen the finished product on her or a form. Now, Jacqui is nearly as skinny as I am these days. So, I chose a really tiny dress form. The skirt went on perfectly fine, but the top would NOT fit. Granted, I started panicking. You can always take in seams if something is too big, but this was much too small to go on even a pint-sized mannequin. Ugh.

Leah had actually scheduled Jacqui to come in later that morning and fit a muslin for her, so I took the opportunity to see if my stuff fit. I made a corset for Jacqui, so when she came out of the dressing room (bathroom), it was unlaced and hanging in all sorts of horrible ways. Discouraged enough to believe that I might have to redo the entire garment, I slowly laced her top closed. (Also, this was sort of embarrassing, because Jacqui was practically exposed when the group of old men with cameras conveniently came to watch over us!) After yanking the lace tight enough to where she probably lost a bit of her lung capacity, I took a step back and screamed,


So I was a little ecstatic. I didn't need to make any additional corrections at all. :) I took some pictures, so after Sally sends them to me, and with Jacqui's consent, I'll show you guys what I've done. You'll probably see why I was amazed by actually being able to get this right on the second try. Now I have to go make stuff for Shannon. Her outfit is much more complicated, so we'll see how this goes.

And I would like to say that I'm in love with Tim Horton's chili... even though it gives me horrific farts.

current mood: melancholy

(5 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Monday, January 22nd, 2007
11:05 pm - For those who care
I hate school. Now, in CCAD's defense, I think I've gotten a really well-rounded education for its specialty. But I'm fed up with the bullshit that CCAD will never hesitate to put its students through.

For instance, our fashion show. It shall still take place, but they've taken away so much from our expectations (and while raising tuition, no less) that it practically feels like it isn't going to happen at all, and at the rate they're cutting back, it shouldn't. It's gone from a grand, rewarding end-of-my-school-career festival to a fucking annoyance.

I told my own dad not to come. Don't come in from out of town and blow your money on a hotel just for this.

For starters, at the beginning of the year, they decided that we were only going to be allowed to have two models walk down the runway. Two, instead of four. And we still have to make the other two garments. But oh, we can make one to fit ourselves, which I'm doing, but I'm going to look like a fucking jackass wearing my shit in front of potential employers when I'm NOT on the runway. But we accepted that we were going to be screwed out of showing at least 25% of our work, and we moved on. But then they dropped some additional bombs after break. Check this shit out.

They changed the location of the CCAD show. There is a nice, HUGE space in the 3rd floor of the crane center where they've shown for the past two years. They're giving two excuses for not showing there this year: 1 - fire hazard (WTF?! The entire building is made of concrete, AND that didn't stop them from showing the past two years) and 2 - they built classrooms there. That doesn't hold water because the classrooms WERE ALREADY THERE last year, and they worked around it. Sooo, they're showing it in the JVC auditorium, where they showed before the crane center existed. The disadvantage to showing there is that it's half the size of the crane. So, to solve that, since they already took away half of our models and made the show half as long, they'll be able to have two back-to-back shows. Great! Except.... THERE WON'T BE A RUNWAY. The models used to walk down the aisle as a runway. Now, it's too "unprofessional" to walk down an aisle. Do I really need to explain how important a RUNWAY is for a fashion show?! Apparently, the administration is unaware. Mainly, the biggest disadvantage to walking across a stage is that no one will be able to see the garments. And I really don't see the point of going to a show where you won't be able to properly see anything. This is three dimensional art, and in order to show it, you need to see it worn around for at least a little while, and from as many different angles as possible.

So, plan B. Go to the good show at the Limited. It's cool, they give students tickets for their family. And it'll be a nice, black tie dinner! When we got back from break, they announced that this "black tie dinner" is now going to be a "brunch" on Saturday morning. Oh, and they decided not to give the students tickets this year. Sure, you can buy tickets, but you have to pay for them. And each ticket, I shit you not, costs $100. For a twenty minute STUDENT fashion show. That only displays half of what you did for your collection. Yeah, right.

Let's sum up the ways in which we've been assraped:

1) Half of our collection cannot be shown.
2) If we want to show up to 75% of what we've done, we have to look like jackasses wearing our designs in front of people who are actually in the field.
3) Our "black tie dinner" is now considerably less important.
4) Our location sucks, and two shows just means there will be twice as much pain in my ass.
5) Our runway is gone, so no one will be able to see the work...
6) Unless you pay $100.

Don't waste your time to kind of sort of see a bastardized version of my collection, and don't waste your money to see a bastardized version of my collection a little closer.

The entire point of this is that if I manage to finish my work, I'll still be upset because there will be absolutely no reward for doing so. Even in terms of grades, Miuccia Prada wouldn't be able to get an A in that class. After all, they don't give A's on the principle that it should be unattainable. And somehow, that's supposed to make us work harder.

*suicide ensues*

current mood: furious

(7 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Saturday, January 20th, 2007
3:33 pm - Stuff for some of my friends
I'm considering taking an extended vacation from AIM in the near future. It's comforting since I've lost all my "real-life" friends recently, but there are other things I need to focus on. That, and I need to figure out how to be comfortable when I'm completely alone. You can talk to me, but use email instead: eveownsyou@gmail.com.

Because I need to procrastinate, and I've felt extremely lonely lately, I'm going to try to focus on something sort of happy for a change. Inspired by Sarah Davis's post, I'm gonna write something for the most influential people in my life, listed in chronological order. Even if you guys don't read your messages, this will be interesting for me to look back on some day. Here goes nothing.

Part I: Middle/High School

Jennifer: I met you in Ms. Lightfoot's fifth grade class when I was ten years old, and you were my best friend for years. We did a ton of stupid shit together, watched a ton of Beavis and Butthead together, and we were rather inseparable during middle school. It was because of you that I turned into such a goth, and you were there when I had my first several "boyfriends." We fell apart and went very separate ways in high school, and I imagine that if I ever see you again, we'll have lives so different from each others that we wouldn't be able to relate on any level. Still, I hope you and your family are well.

Geoff Ulrich: You were my first real crush and my first boyfriend. You could be nice when you wanted, but you smelled bad, had a mullet, and were totally controlling and manipulative. Still, I'm better off for having dated you, because now I know what NOT to look for in a guy. There are people who learn this lesson much later in life, or when they've already wasted years with one boyfriend because they feel like they have no choice but to love them. I hope you've learned your lesson, too. Oh, and it's your fault that Jennifer and I ever started listening to Korn.

Shaheed: I met you through Jennifer at Newburg middle, and you were my best friend during high school. You kept me happy through my teenage years, and you gave me something to look forward to on the weekends. Hanging out with you is always cool, but everything we did together sucked, so we called each other "suckbuddies" in the friendliest, least sexual way possible. Perhaps we never dated, but your friends and your sex stories taught me that men are all total assholes. :-P But you're hilarious, I miss the hell out of you, and I really wish I were better about keeping in touch with you. Good luck with the black tapestry. :)

Yasha: I don't exactly remember how or when I ever met you, but I can bet that it was through Josh. I have so much to say about you, I don't even know where to begin. So, I'll just say that you're the coolest guy on earth, you're intelligent and introspective, and that makes you one of the most amazing and interesting people I've ever spoken to. I'll never forget those nights with Sarah, Josh, and whoever else driving around in The Tank. Our adventures were weird as hell, and your day care parties were extremely fun. :) Thanks for being such an awesome guy throughout the years.

Sarah Davis: You're crazy, and I love you for it. You're easily one of the closest female friends I've ever had. Thanks for giving me a chance and making efforts to talk to me in school... I really appreciate that, and I have a great deal of respect for you for doing so. I totally miss hanging out in your basement, so we should do that again whenever you get back from Japan. You were also an influence on my eventual decision to go into fashion design. It sucks that we didn't end up going to art school together, but keep chasing your dreams, because you'll find what you're looking for eventually. :)

Will Marsh: You kept cracking me up during sophomore year lunch with your Will Marsh brand of humor, and I lived with you for a week. I seriously miss hanging out with you, Sarah, and Heather. Also, I'd like to mention that I've had a conversation about why Will Marsh is cool recently, so I'll summarize that here. In terms of your LJ, yours is one of the best to read. You don't update often, but when you do, it's always something completely hilarious that's, well, worth reading. :) Stay awesome, don't let crazy stuff stop happening to you, and do visit me in Columbus sometime!

Drew: Aside from the fact that I fell in love with you pretty randomly, you were never really a huge part of my life. But you made the list because of the first part. I'm happy that we eventually got a chance to talk to each other, even if it was after I had already moved away from Louisville. I tried like hell to help you through your toughest times, and I hope I at least helped a little. You stopped talking to me when I could no longer offer any help (no thanks to being preoccupied with school). Since I've only met one or two people who can fully comprehend the stress-induced state of mind I was in, I don't expect you to ever understand. Best of luck to you and Jessie.

Heather Breckel: I definitely met you at studio 2000 senior year with Sarah Davis, and now I live with you! You're easily one of the most hilarious and unique people I've ever met. Your art is crazy, and I have to admit to being envious of your style. We've been through some crazy times together, and I'm glad you came out okay. Whatever you do, never forget that you're amazing and talented. We should actually hang out sometime instead of sitting at our computers.

That's it for now. If I ever bother to write it, I think my college - present list is going to be much shorter. But thanks for being there, guys.

current mood: thoughtful

(1 Republican | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Thursday, January 18th, 2007
6:46 pm
So I went to the gynecologist today. It was pretty uneventful. But I will say that everyone there was extremely nice, so if you're in Columbus and need a gyno, I'd recommend these folks.

But one thing about the place disturbed the living shit out of me. Out of 4 doctors there, 3 of them were men. Now, I won't question why any man would want to be a gynecologist (because I'd bet that the answer in most cases has to do with extreme perversion), but I do question why some women *want* to see male gynecologists. Any chicks out there care to give your opinion? Granted, I've never seen a dude for this type of shit before, but the even if the guy was completely ideal, the idea deeply disturbs me. Particularly when dealing with a potentially painful procedure, there's a huge trust issue involved. And well, I'd trust the doctor who knows what they're doing from both the perspective of a doctor and a patient over the one who's always just a doctor. I think having the patient experience as well could easily give you some insight on how to do your job better than any book or second-hand experience could teach you. I'm not saying that men could never be great gynecologists, but that the idea of actually seeing one just doesn't sit well with me.

In other news, I'm upset, and it hasn't been this bad since I was fifteen and went on prozac. Shit happens and there are always periods of uneasiness, but I've always been able to bounce back into optimism and emotional stability reasonably quickly. Now? Not so much. I've been crying constantly and against my will for about two months straight. I feel like I've finally, officially failed at the basics of being human, and since the basic desires of life can't be satisfied, I can't fully appreciate any of the good things surrounding me. I no longer have any significant, potentially cool changes in life to look forward to, and every time I think "hey, maybe (whatever) will change," I'm confronted with the reality that it's never going to. The fact that I'll never really get what I want out of life has always been apparent, but it's just never felt this real to me. I'm not looking for sympathy (Seriously. Don't do it. When I get the "awwwww, i so sowwy" messages, it usually comes off as being completely insincere, and just pisses me off even further.); I just needed to give these devils some fresh air... if that makes any sense at all.

current mood: crushed

(6 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
10:45 pm - One Dream to Rule them All
With as much as I write about my dreams on here, it's kind of weird that I haven't written about the one major recurring theme in my sleep. Anyone want to take a guess at what that theme may be? Didn't think so!

The answer: Tornadoes.

I've had tornado dreams almost my entire life. Ever since I watched the Wizard of Oz and discovered what a tornado was, I've been having tornado nightmares. They're all the same dream, just in different settings. There's a tornado, I need to run and hide, and usually, there isn't a safe place to take shelter. Sounds like my dreams are alluding to some inner turmoil issues. Gee, I wonder why.

The dream I had last night was significantly different than any other tornado dream I've ever had. It started out the same: I was in a house (it was supposed to be dad's house, but it looked completely different. I love how I fabricate extremely detailed places in my head that don't really exist), the sirens were going off, and everyone needed to take cover. So, being scared out of my mind, I went in the basement. But no one else would follow.

A little while later, Dad and Ann came to the door and said, "Eve, you've gotta come see this!"

They were smiling. I said, "NO! It's dangerous! We could be killed!! You have to get to the basement!! I know you like to watch storms, but this one is serious!!!" But those crazy bitches INSISTED that I come upstairs. They were so insistent, they came down and took me out of the basement, practically kicking and screaming. They were still smiling and laughing.

"What's going on? Why are you doing this?!" I asked.

"Eve! It's okay! Don't worry! They're not dangerous!" Dad and Ann both pointed to the window. They were standing in front of a huge window (and trust me, I know not to stand near windows during a tornado), overlooking a forest and a bright, orange sky. There were certainly tornadoes out there, but it was NOT what I expected. Instead of huge, looming funnels, there were tons of tiny, black squiggles falling from the sky. Each "tornado" seemed to be only a few feet tall, and looked more like an ink drawing of a tornado than a real object at all. They shot out of the sky at sharp angles, and fell to the earth where they caused no harm.

"Don't you see, Eve? Those photos and videos we've all seen of tornadoes in a dark green sky? They're not real. That's just what we *believe* they are. Fact is, no one ever really bothered to stop hiding from the things and take a look at what they really are. The photos and videos are just artists' renderings of what we believe to be going on outside when the twisters come by. And those guesses of reality are so frightening, it doesn't give anyone a reason to come out of hiding and see for themselves. So what do you think?"

"It's actually kind of pretty," I said.

After I had come to terms with that reality, the dream got really weird. Apparently, the tornadoes didn't just disappear when they fell to the ground. If you went outside right after the storm, you could collect their remains - and eat them! Ann offered me a dinnerplate with a tornado on the side. It didn't look the way it did when it was coming from the sky. Instead, picture a swirly-shaped halogen lightbulb that was gelatinous and blue, and that was what was on my plate. Even though I no longer feared the experience of being in a tornadic storm, I was still too afraid to eat it. Oh well.

current mood: weird

(5 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Thursday, December 21st, 2006
10:39 pm - Not even a little bit. Not even at all.
Yeah. So. That guy I really, REALLY liked? Guess what happened.

R.I.P. Eve & Jon Brescia: June 2006 - December 2006

It's funny how people like to push you out of their lives when you need them in yours more than ever.

That's just what happens with guys I fall for, though. I could be phenomenally attractive, rich and famous, intelligent and interesting, and *not* completely introverted, and no guy in the world will want anything to do with me AFTER a matter of months... just as long as I want them to. And it's horribly confounding, because it's actually difficult for me to think of guys I've known who didn't have at least a bit of interest in me at some point. It just never lasts. I've accepted long ago that this will always be my love life, but every time I meet someone like Jon, I pray and pray that I'm wrong. But I never am.

Let's leave this entry public for shits and giggles. Maybe I'll get flamed for being horrible and worthless again.

current mood: disappointed

(13 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Monday, December 4th, 2006
3:37 am - College day/Obligatory end of the semester post
For whatever reason, I feel so exhausted, it honestly hurts to move. The fact that I have an illustration due tomorrow isn't helping the situation. Fortunately, I feel like I have a very cute, but also very simple concept to throw together tonight. Wish me luck.

Anyway, it's the end of the semester, and it has gone much more smoothly than originally anticipated. Only having two classes to deal with makes it much, much easier, despite the fact that I still find myself pulling all-nighters here and there. In spite of my perpetual procrastination disorder, I've managed to produce enough cool stuff to impress my teachers. This led my portfolio teacher to nominate me to represent the fashion design department in college day for all the prospective freshmen. At least four people were nominated, but somehow, I was the only student present at the booth today. (I suspect no one wanted to do it because of the massive amount of stuff we have due in the next couple of days.)

As much as it seemed to be a pain in the ass, college day ended up being a really interesting experience. For one, I was the only person stupid enough to NOT put a portfolio together. I brought in a ton of loose work on boards, expecting there to be a crowd that didn't want to wait in line to flip through a book. I was right, but I looked retarded in comparison to ridiculously talented and professional students, such as illustration's Eric Spray (that bastard! If I were half that talented, I'd have a god complex!). The advertising dude next to me didn't seem to be too unimpressed, fortunately. Aschenbrand and Doug Fisher, the advertising chair, complimented me on my work (although Fisher seemed to be more impressed that I didn't *personally* look like a pile of shit), too. I have no idea why McKissick didn't bother to say hi. Chris Payne did, and he seemed genuinely glad to see me!

I was mostly there to answer any questions the kids and parents had about the fashion program, and I feel like I was as honest as possible. However, most of the questions involved "what should I put in my portfolio?" which is a difficult question for me to answer since I didn't tailor my portfolio to fashion. A couple of people actually showed me their portfolio, and holy crap, I was impressed! This one girl MADE her mom's wedding dress. She was apparently home schooled, and learn to sew really, really well during her time. Her designs were good, too. More interestingly, there was this little guy - and when I say little, I mean I doubt he was over 14 years old. I thought his MOM was the one applying for school here. He (and his mom) handed me this binder filled with just sketches. He didn't draw the figures perfectly, and he was presenting a sketchbook as a portfolio which isn't quite proper... but his designs were AMAZING. It was mostly black and white sketches, but he had glued some trims, inspiration photos, and fabric swatches into certain sections... and he had a fucking ton of them! His mom said that all he ever did was design outfits, and that's pretty easy to believe. With that kind of drive and such a strangely sophisticated design sense at such a young age, I bet that kid will end up on Project Runway at the very least.

As for me, I finally got to have feedback from YOUNG people, who could potentially be interested in buying some of my designs. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive, which sort of came as a surprise. See, the teachers at CCAD don't give hardly any direction on how to design fashion. They critique your sewing and your drawing, but rarely do you ever hear about the quality of your idea itself. One chick (who was wearing a corset) told me that she and her friend had a discussion about my insect-inspired piece. According to her, they wanted to get a gang of girls wearing the stuff so they could go around acting badass. :-P "Popozao" got a couple of laughs, "Kandipants" (men's raver collection) drew some attention, and all the women loved my sexy men's trenchcoat. The feedback from my senior collection designs has been really positive, too. I showed Jacqui her skirt today, and she seemed to be rather excited. So, I feel a little better about myself as a designer, now. :)

This all brings me to the conclusion that because I feel comfortable with the quality of my work, I don't feel too bad about working my ass off during the next week to get it all done. I have to do the illustration for tomorrow, and I have to have something to show for collection wednesday. After that, I need to have my entire portfolio completed and tweaked, Jacqui's finished outfit, and Shannon's blocks transferred to oak tag board. It's going to SUCK, but I think it might actually be possible. Yay! Now... let's hope I don't get sick and fuck it.

current mood: sleepy

(2 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

Saturday, November 11th, 2006
5:37 pm - Christian Trolls
Most unfortunately, my friends in Louisville lost a close friend early Thursday morning, which most of you probably know by now. Dylan Prott of Pocket Bomb seems to have leapt 20 stories to his death in WKU. Personally, I never knew him at all. I've been around him many times throughout the years, and I'm pretty sure I actually went to his house at one point, yet I never said a word to him. So, while this news certainly does upset me, and I hope he rests in peace, I really don't think it's my place to be posting a grievous livejournal entry about him. However, since his death was so unusual, it made headlines in the local news. While searching through stories about it, I ran across a comment that really pissed me off.

You can find the article here: http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061110/NEWS01/611100376/1008/NEWS01

The comment, IMHO, is completely out of line. I'm posting it here in hopes that someone at the C-J realizes this is insulting, and deletes it:

"You hate and strike out at me with words just as the unbelievers did to my Christ. I however will continue to pray for you. I will pray that your eyes will be open to the truth of God's word. Your hearts are dark and your spirits are dead. God has sent me and others throughout the world to expose man’s sin and to turn man to God through Jesus Christ.

After Jesus ascended to heaven God sent the Holy Spirit to this earth to convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment. The Holy Spirit does this through each believer. Unfortunately many believers have chosen to stay silent during one of the darkest times in man's history.

You rebel against the truth because you enjoy living in sin. You've justified your evil lifestyle. Some of you say you believe but your actions show you to be a liar and the truth is not in you.

I'm not upset at Democrats because the Republicans lost. Pride displays itself before the fall. I lost nothing. But the innocent lost their lives. I'm grieved because the church did not step in and help the people who are against abortion. The reason why the Republicans lost was because some Christians did not listen to God this year. They got lazy of doing the right thing.

To all Christians who read this, remember the words of our savior "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men."

By voting for the men and women who agree that it is alright to kill a human, regardless of the development stage, you have become good for nothing in God's kingdom. You have allowed the cares of this world to choke the word out of your heart. Repent and return to your first works.

Many of you need to leave the dead church you are in. Find a church full of the spirit of God and where the word of God is proclaimed.

Louisville will experience a great outpouring of God's spirit in 2007. Only those who are thirsty for righteousness will be filled. God explained it to me this way. He will be creating the wave; we just have to ride it regardless of where he takes us or what we face next year.

To you unbelievers who are so caught up in the affairs of this world. Some of you will hear the truth but not understand because your heart is hard towards God. You will ultimately perish in your sin.
Some of you, even right now, are reading and understanding. You know in your heart what I'm sharing is from God. God is calling you to come to Him now before it is too late for you and the ones you love. Look up, keep your eyes on Jesus, guard your heart from the worthless wisdom of man, and be careful who you associate with. This world may seem alive but it is dead.

Some people in Louisville will meet God tomorrow. Some will be ready and some will not. Their destination is forever. To be with God or to be sent to gehenna. Remember, it could have been you. Get yourselves ready to meet a holy God."

Great! So you're hijacking the death of an 18-year-old as a means of pushing your Christian agenda, and implying that everyone needs to vote Republican, or else the rapture will occur directly over Louisville? And more insultingly, are you implying that Dylan was an unbeliever who jumped straight into hell, thereby meriting your rant about how this is going to happen to all of us, and specifically in 2007 no less?? If I were his parents for instance, the LAST thing I would want to hear is some fucktard's rant about how our son is not only dead, but is now burning in hell. What the fuck is wrong with you?!! If this is what you believe, fine, but leave Dylan Prott out of this. Was Dylan as uber-religious as this poster? I really don't know. But somehow, I don't think this is how he would have wanted people to respond to his death.

current mood: infuriated

(6 Republicans | Blow 'er all to Hell!!)

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